


star [stɑː(r), noun]

by Falmouth



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 5 Things, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Compliant, Different AUs + Canonverse, Jearmin Week, Kids AU, M/M, Prompt: Stargazing, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2778551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falmouth/pseuds/Falmouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five settings, five different ways and interpretations of "seeing stars"<br/>Or, "The four times Armin saw the stars and the one Jean did"</p>
<p>written for the jearmin week III -  day 4 - stargazing</p>
            </blockquote>





	star [stɑː(r), noun]

If you asked every kid in town who was the best at playing basketball, they would all roll they eyes dramatically and mutter a blunt “Jean”.

Jean Kirschtein was the kid that had a natural talent for a sport and could excel at it effortless, and when other kids asked him for advice, he usually leaned against a wall, rolled the basketball in his finger and replied with false modesty 'Sorry, can't tell you buddy. I don't have any secrets. I don't do anything special actually... you just have to _feel_ the ball and it does the rest'.

Despite everything, though, he was honestly a nice guy, and there were rare occasions where this hidden characteristic of his came out at the light.

That day was one of these.

The sun of late Spring shone on the rocks and on the grass of the park, reminder of the upcoming Summer. Jean sat on a bench, basketball in his hands, tapping his food nervously while waiting for the other kid to show up.

Just a few days before, all the kids in town had gathered for the usual Sunday match, but they had unusually found some complications. Connie, one of the kids, was sick and couldn't play with them and in order not to play in teams of four, they had to find another player.

And so that was how Armin, a friend Eren had invited over for couple of weeks, had entered for the first time in his life in a basketball court. It wasn't technically a proper court, because the town couldn't afford that, but just a simple paved open space and a rusted ring roughly fixed at an old tree. For the kids it was enough.

Armin... wasn't really good at playing.

Jean's team had been the one missing the player, and Armin had gone with him. And for the first time in months, Jean's team had lost. Of course it hadn't been only Armin to blame, but Jean's hurt pride told him that teaching the blond the fundamentals of basketball wouldn't be a bad idea.

When Armin finally arrived, wearing proper basketball shorts with his hair pulled up with a thin headband, Jean's heart started to beat faster. Probably because he was self-conscious if he were a good coach or not.

They started learning how to dribble the ball and Jean smiled at Armin's effort when he was constantly failing even at something easy like that.

When Jean finally declared that they could start shootings, Armin seemed particularly excited.

They placed themselves in front of the basket, Jean showed briefly what the right position was and then tossed the ball that passed through the ring cleanly.

Armin clapped and took Jean's arm. The brunet gulped and stuttered a thanks when the other complimented him. “You're really great Jean, good job! No wonder why they say you're the best! Oh please let me try it!”

Armin didn't score, but being his first attempt it wasn't so bad. Jean was proud of his novice. Armin, though, seemed pretty disappointed and went retrieving the ball sulkily which made Jean laugh.

“Please let me see it again” Armin shouted, and tossed the ball back to Jean.

He dribbled it a few times and then positioned himself, but before he could shoot, his gaze went on Armin. The blond was on his tiptoes, his hands brushing his chin and his eyes more shining than ever; his lips curled up in a expectantly smile like in his world there was only Jean now, and the brunet blushed at the thought.

He bit his lip, turned towards the hoop, tossed the ball... and missed.

It was like the world had slowed down: Armin's gaze had never left Jean but the latter could see with horror in his eyes the ball silently bouncing on the ring... before falling right on Armin's head.

Jean brought suddenly his hand to his mouth and bit his thumb. “ARMIN! I'm sorry, are you okay?”

He rushed towards the blond worried “Does it hurt?”

“It hurts so bad I'm seeing stars.”

Being the ten years old he was, Jean had watched enough cartoons to know that that expression meant _a lot of pain_.

He panicked for a second, seeing Armin hurt because of him, sitting on the ground with his hands holding and rubbing his head.

He then did what his mother had taught him. He gently took Armin's wrists in his hands and moved them away before placing a sweet kiss at the top of Armin's head.

“Did the pain go away? Are you still seeing stars?”

Armin blushed and didn't answer.

 

–

 

Jean was woken up by a repetitive _beep_ coming from the device he had on his left wrist. The first thing he noticed was that he had fallen asleep while he was working _again_ and cursed slightly as he rubbed his face. He missed Armin and his homemade coffee. He had tried some coffee pills his colleague had suggested once, but having caffeine shot directly in his body through that contraption in his arm that was connected to his veins always left a strange sensation. He preferred it traditional and couldn't understand people that ate every day their meals through the bracelet.

The beeping became more insistent and loud and Jean grunted and finally answered the call, sliding his index finger on its backlit surface. The new government had wanted all the nation's LIFERs devices to be replaced with a newer, improved version and Jean actually preferred this thinner, compact, button-less update, even if it was longer than the prior and now almost reached his elbow.

Immediately the image of his lover was projected in front of his eyes and he smiled at the sight of Armin in a tight white and blue hazmat suit.

“Hello Jean, how are you? Sorry if I call now, I bet it must be early morning there.” Jean glanced at the clock in the corner right of the hologram screen: 5.30 a.m.

“Don't worry. I can kinda imagine what made you call me.”

Armin worked for a marine biology company and he had dedicated all his life to the research of plants and water animals, trying all what was in his power to keep protected species alive. He had read old books that said once Earth was covered by water and this so called ocean was so big and deep that it even couldn't have been explored completely. Armin loved his job and Jean found fascinating how his husband was into it and how truly he loved it.

“Jean, this is such an important day for science, for the whole world, for humanity!” Jean saw a sparkle in Armin's eyes and smiled “What happened, honey?”

Armin couldn’t keep his excitement down when he finally spluttered what made him so happy. “Jean, oh, Jean. We found.. we found a species that we thought was extinct hundreds of years ago! And today, just as we were heading back we found this hidden inlet and there... there was a colony of sea stars. Sea stars, Jean! There were like twelve of them, still... alive! Do you know what that means, that they were right, that everything I worked for was worth it, that we could really change the world...” Armin was so blissfully happy that tears had started to form at the corners of his eyes. “I wish you could be here with me, I miss you like crazy”

Jean smiled, and thought that this call was totally worth the lack of sleep. “I miss you too, Armin. And I’m so happy that you are everyday nearer your dreams. I wish everything you hope for will come true, I wish humanity will be able to recreate the ocean and I want to live by it with you. Everything will be okay and you'll remember this day, remember how proud I am of you and you'll see those sea stars everyday. What do you think?”

 

–

 

Armin had never considered himself a lucky guy, but that night seemed to differ.

At the beginning, it had been one of the numerous evenings where Eren dragged him somewhere in the city with him for 'properly enjoying youth', this time being a sleazy pub for attending the local teenage band's last concert.

Armin didn't really... _dislike_ nights like that, he enjoyed being with Eren, but _that_ was a bit too much even for him. He had never been a fan of those events, and having Eren near him shouting and worshiping some weird kid with the guitar was rather embarrassing.

After the last song finished with a particular long riff, the guitarist -or should have Armin called him _Jean,_ since Eren had repeated his name all evening no-stop, squeezing Armin's shoulder in the process- took the microphone, thanked the audience and sent them a wink before saying goodbye and leaving the stage for the next band.

Eren babbled something about needing to find a pen and paper so he could search for Jean behind the scenes and ask him for an autograph, at which Armin rolled dramatically his eyes and said that he would wait for him. To be honest, Armin saw Eren's point: Jean was really good with the guitar, and he was also a rather attractive guy - he had to admit it, when he had sent a kiss to the audience with a sexy grin he had felt his own heart jumping in his chest too- but Eren's adulation was a bit over the edges. Maybe it was just the red light on the stage that showed Jean's pronounced jaw and weird two-colored hair to make him seem so good-looking. Or maybe it was the music thing.

And Armin's fortunate twist that night happened when he decided to go outside one moment for a breath of air.

He ordered a glass of bitter lemonade and found a nice, quiet, isolated spot on the back of the pub.

He looked up at the sky and smiled noticing the stars peeking out behind the clouds that had seemed so gloomy and angry that morning _._ He leaned against the wall, sipping his drink slowly and checking his phone in case Eren had called him.

Only when the wall vanished behind him, he realized that was not, in fact, a wall, but a door. And someone had just opened it.

It was a strange turn of fate how that person was precisely the guy Eren had talked so much about. Finding nothing to lean on, Armin fell back, trying to find balance but failing miserably until he bumped against him and splattered them both with his drink.

It was only after a burst of excuses that Armin finally looked at the stranger in the eyes and recognized him as... Jean. Armin immediately shut up, and he might have stared a little to long, mouth open, stuttering an awkward 'thank you' when Jean smiled offering him a tissue, because the brunet snickered "What? First time seeing a star?"

"W-what? Umh, no, it's my friend Eren that's obsessed with you."

And it was that simple exchange of words that declared Armin's and Jean first of many conversations.

Armin found out a lot about Jean in the few minutes they shared together: for example, that Jean didn't like only punk music, but on Thursdays he even played blues at the Old House Inn, and _that_ was surely something Armin was fond of -"Really?" "Yup. Double Bass."- or that he wanted to study history of Arts after high school - “That's really... admirable” “Thank you. All my friends defined it as stupid.”

They were interrupted by Armin's phone ringing and Armin gulped as he could almost feel his friend's anger through the ringtone.

"I'm sorry, but.. I have to go now. My friend Eren is looking for me. And..." he added, before rushing away "Could you do you an autograph for him, please?"

When he met with Eren at the car, he sent him an apologetic look, seeing his friend looking both angry and preoccupied.

"Where were you?"

"I was... seeing stars."

"Stars? But it's cloudy!"

" _Music_ stars" Armin specified, handing to Eren the scrap of paper with Jean's name written in it. He kept a smaller piece for his own though, the one where Jean had written his phone number.

He guessed that night had turned out to be pretty lucky for the both of them.

 

–

 

Armin felt a little dizzy. He wasn't used to have so many people around him, but sure he didn't care much at the moment: everyone was so excited and happy that the atmosphere wasn't uncomfortable at all. He leaned on the balcony, and was suddenly hit by the cold December midnight wind. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and relaxing, the loud music behind him slowly fading the more he was lost in his thoughts.

Someone poked him on the shoulder and when he turned around saw Jean smiling at him, with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He offered Armin one and went beside him, and they were so close that their shoulders touched. Armin blushed and feebly thanked Jean for the drink. He had brushed accidentally shoulders with almost everybody that night, because there were definitely too many people for a party organized in such a little house, but the fact that it was Jean now made his heart beat incredibly fast.

Armin saw that Jean was blushing too and opened his mouth for starting a conversation - _any_ conversation, but Jean took the lead first.

“So, we're almost there, huh? Excited?”

Armin nodded enthusiastically “Yes! It's been so long since I last saw the fireworks for the New Year's Eve. That's the main reason why I'm here, to be honest. And Eren insisted so much... Anyway, have you thought of some promises to keep for the new year?”

But Jean never got the chance to answer because a loud countdown started echoing behind them.

More people gathered on the balcony and Armin found himself even more squeezed to Jean than he was before. He looked up at the city sky, waiting for the multitude of colors to brighten the darkness.

Three! Two! One!

Armin never heard clearly the “Happy New Year” in the rumble of the explosions, shouting of people and his own heart beating inside his chest because _oh my god Jean had just turned around and cupped his chin with his hands._

“Yes” he said a little late, and then Armin was on his tiptoes, being kissed by his six-months-long crush and his heart melted. He must have dropped his champagne glass at one moment because his hands were now in Jean's messy hair. He wasn't too worried: the guy's lips tasted better that every wine he could ever drink.

Armin chuckled in the kiss: in the end he wasn't able to see the fireworks. But he thought that it was still okay – it was _more_ than okay – because kissing Jean made him see stars.

 

–

 

That night was the perfect one. The gentle breeze caressing his cheeks, the sloshing of the waves lullabying him to sleep, the stars shining in all their splendour upon him.

Jean was happy. Calm.

Lying down on the cold rocks near the sea, he looked up at the sky and felt absorbed into that endless black, speckled with faraway suns that to him where just mere dots. He had never been interested much in the Universe, until Armin had started talking about it. Of course Armin knew everything about the Universe. He had spent all his life with his eyes down on books just to understand better the world when he brought them up.

The first time Armin had said that stars where gigantic, burning spheres of gas, Jean had laughed at him. How could they seem so little if they were so big? Perspective, Armin had answered rolling his eyes, and that was the start of Armin's lessons about the Universe. Or the Unknown, given how few information they had. Armin had said that there was one time where humanity knew a lot of things more about it and that they had even traveled it, like it was a ship in a river, but Jean never really believed it was possible. He had kept his mouth shut however, not to hurt Armin's feelings.

Armin had told him all the stars' names. And all about constellations and galaxies.

The stars had never been as shining as that night.

Jean spotted the Plough on his right. Armin had laughed when Jean had said that it looked more like a dipper to him, saying that he needed to have more imagination. Jean had said that he needed to give less trust to books and all their blabbing.

Merak... Dubhe... and then five times their distance... and there it was, the Pole Star. Apparently the most important one in that deep, infinite sky.

Jean smiled recalling the first time he had studied that. The deep blush on Armin's face when he had whispered 'This star reminds me of you. Bright, and leading others on the right way' was a sweet memory. It became even sweeter when he remembered that was the day he had finally kissed Armin's lips: everything had seemed easier since then.  
Even in a world of war, they had found peace in one another.

Suddenly, there was a light, and he realized something was off. The wind wasn't as soft as before, but was cold, biting and brought the smell of something burning with it. The stars were obfuscated by a thick smoke coming from his right, and he couldn't hear the gentle lullaby of the ocean anymore, but just a deep rumbling that echoed in his veins. He hoped that it wasn't a storm coming. It would have ruined the view.

He tried to open his mouth to complain, but only a hoarse sound came out, and he felt his lungs burning.

His whole body was hurting, aching, except for his right arm. He wondered if he still had an arm to feel something with.

He heard a rumbling again and this time he knew it wasn't a storm. It was the sound of Earth: angered, broken and ready to die crumbling on itself.

They had lost the final war. Titans had won.

The smoke increased and the sky was now lit by a massive blaze burning everything with its infernal flames. Jean heard some screams of anguish and despair and wished he was already dead so he could avoid to listen.

He lifted his left hand, trembling, shaking for the blood loss and his fingers brushed against some others, cold and still. He held the little hand tight in his, and warm tears rolled down his cheeks, as he remembered how those same hands were full of life just a minute ago, holding his chin and telling him everything was alright. But he knew he couldn't escape reality anymore, living on a lost dream. He could only accept defeat.

He looked at the sky for one last time, and maybe the stars were really all part of something bigger, and humanity was just insignificant compared to them, because they were all still there, shining, impassive at humanity's destruction.

"Tell me Armin, are there stars in the netherworld?"

He closed his eyes and waited, until Death took him for his own.

 

 


End file.
